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General Health & Fitness

  • PLEASE Follow these Acceptable Rules of Conduct at your Gym!

    It's important to know how to behave in the gym because it is a strangely close place to spend several hours per week next to strangers. You're all crammed up into a space which is more than likely not well sanitized.

    In any other setting, it would be totally unacceptable behaviour; people huffing and puffing, squeezing things, measuring things, constantly glancing into the mirror to stare at themselves... you get the idea! Only at the gym do we do such personal grooming and health improvement routines in the most public way! Sure, you brush your teeth and wash your hair regularly (I hope) for the same reasons but no one has to see you doing it!

    1. Just because bobby-biceps can curl 50kgs, doesn't mean his mate tommy-twigs should be subject to the same training program!

    I feel bad for the skinny friend of a jock who walks into the gym one day after much convincing from his buddy to start pumping weights. The jock gets the skinny kid to do his own program… what an awkward mess! Leave that to the professionals, please! Your friend who has never touched a barbell should NOT be doing your program! No single program fits all, and it always ends up being embarrassing for the kid who can't squat/ deadlift/ bench to save his life. Poor guy just shrinks away, eyes darting around the room, worried about what the women and other dudes think of his pathetic attempts!

    2. Even though dogs mark fire hydrants that they don't own, you don't have to mark equipment with your sweat! Wipe that shit down!

    There are so many ways jerks mark their territory at the gym. Only one problem, it's a public space! You do not own that bar, bench, or machine! Not only are you sharing with other "bro's" but you're also sharing with my 83 year old grandmother. She doesn't deserve it, my friends! Put your weights away so she doesn't have to break her wrist doing it for you, and wipe your machine down! Have some respect for the next guy!

     

    3. Your bare butt has no place in a gym! I'm sure you can find spandex in a size larger which still shows off your curvy- bits!

    This one is a special call out for the ladies of CrossFit… what can I say? Please stop, you are worth more than that. The extra fabric shouldn't cost much more to completely cover your bottom.

    4. If construction workers can work in 40 degree weather with shirts on, so can you, in the air-conditioned gym!

    I know, you want to show off your body. Do that at the beach! Again, a public space; have some respect for your counterparts (yes, and my grandmother). If we wanted to see abs we just have to google them. Thanks, anyways!

     

    5. Grunting from sheer force of lifting weights is acceptable… but that creepy heaving breathing stuff can get out of hand- control it!

    This is just NOT okay. Making more noise is not more impressive to the rest of us. Keep that grunting to a minimum if you want the respect of your peers!

     

    Happy Training to all!

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