A question that I encounter often from clients is “How do I deal with unsupportive people when I am trying to lose weight?” It is a very common issue, so if you around people who do not support your health and fitness goals, you are definitely not alone!
Being a personal trainer, I am fortunate enough to interact with a variety of clients who vary in their:
- Gender
- Age
- Goals
- Exercise Experience
- Body Shape
- Mindset
- Personality
- Marital Status
- Determination
- Motivation
- …and of course practically every other aspect to a person
Interestingly, people from all the above categories struggle with this issue of unsupportive people. This ranges from people who are just starting out, to others who have been training for years and are in excellent shape.
Trust me, this problem does not go away. This is something that I have personally been subject to for years due to my passion for health and fitness. Whilst eventually people may accept your choices, there will always be the people who would love to see you fail (often because they aren’t happy in their own skin!).
Here are a few very common examples of unsupportive people:
- People at work trying to force you to eat something that you really don’t want to eat
- Family members telling you that you are too skinny
- Friends who practically shove a beer in your face when you would rather remain sober and focused on your own personal goals
It may be subtle, or it may be “laugh-in-your-face” (yes, I once had someone laugh in my face prior to my BodyBlitz competition many years ago). Either way, it’s a fact of life for most of us.
Speaking from personal experience, I do the following:
Distance yourself from these people. Whilst not always possible, do you really want to be around people who don’t have your best interests at heart? Furthermore, pessimistic people don’t really help you accomplish success in your life, so why would you want to spend your time hearing about how poorly you are doing?
Don’t let it get to you. If you want to accomplish something that is perfectly healthy, then go for it. This is your goal, not theirs. Why sacrifice your judgement for someone else’s?
In saying this, I do emphasise that this is a “healthy” goal. If you are chasing after something that is unhealthy, then someone else may very well be a voice of reason and this may be misconstrued as being “unsupportive”.
Have a conversation with the important people in your life and explain to them the reasons as to why you are doing this. Maybe they don’t understand just how important your goals are to you. Or maybe they don’t understand how their thoughts are being projected onto you.
Accept that people love to criticise others. Don’t let it get to you – accept the fact that many other people will try “level” with others to make themselves feel better. Some people are so insecure with themselves that they try to take down others around them to give themselves a bit of a boost. This is no reflection on you.
Use this to fuel your fire. If someone says that you “cannot” accomplish something, use it to your advantage to motivate yourself to accomplish that goal. This is actually a really powerful technique in turning negative energy into positive energy.
I’d love to hear your comments on this topic if you have any experiences or advice for others. This is such a common scenario for many people seeking to improve themselves and I’m sure we would all benefit by sharing ideas.
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